Sunday, October 16, 2016

How To Overcome A Pity Party

I've been having a pity party these last couple of days.  I'll blog about it sometime in the future, but lets just suffice it to say, it really is not super major, I'm just being a baby, and I'll get over it, because really in the grand scheme of things, there are so many wonderful things going on in our corner of the world right now and we are so blessed!

We have a beautiful grandson that just turned one and we got to celebrate with his great Grandma with us.  Miss Mona Lisa was charming as always, and had me and Baby Boy B's girlfriend (woot woot) playing all kinds of cool games with her.  It was a grand day!

When I get in a mood where it is all about woe is me, there seems to be that one thing that brings life into perspective, you know what I mean?!  Last Thursday was Hospice.  I so look forward to Hospice mornings twice a month.  Hospice gives me that time that is much needed away from work.   Hospice takes me away from all the stuff that is going on at work, the pushing and pulling of multiple people, vendors and departments seemingly wanting a piece of your time at the same time and the to do list getting longer, rather than shorter.  It gives me breathing space.  It lets me go back to work in such a much calmer piece of mind to deal with it all, a rejuvenation.

Hospice brings so much more to me than I bring to it!  No, really.  It is bringing me so many new friendships.  It is making me, humble and more thoughtful of others feelings, it is showing me that even though I feel like there is so much going on,  that life is so very precious, and that no matter what is happening, it could be so much worse.  Hospice makes me regret too. Regret that I was not kinder to my own mother at times and how very much I miss her (as she said many times I would).  How much she would have enjoyed her great grandchildren and how proud she would have been of her three grandsons and the paths they have chosen!  Sorry for the small digression there.

Last Thursday at Hospice, I received a great gift!   I was the recipient of a letter from a Hospice patient who chose one of my red, white and blue blankets.  She, herself, was not a Vet, but her husband was, and she chose my blanket.  Normally, we may receive a thank you from the family after the patient passes, but this one was a most beautiful letter written by the patient before she passed.  How poignant that someone would do this amongst everything that was going on in her life a mere week before she was gone!

There were so many things in this letter that I would tell you about, but let me say this, she spoke to me.    She thought or hoped that we might have crossed paths.  We might not have, but she certainly was on the money when she penned her thoughts.  It was as if we really did know each other and that she was guiding me towards being a better person, but also helping me to realize that how precious our current life is and how to go on and being oh so much more grateful each day.

I do not post this today to bring you down, I just felt the need to share what an amazing day Thursday was and how out of tears there emerges joy, enlightenment and guidance that was much needed and is today as I write this.

I'll end today's post with a bit of the letter from the patient, the article that she references in her letter is about dogs, but I can tell you I saw it as so much more, I saw it as a reminder  for all of us  on how to treat everyone, old and you, dogs and cats,  as well.  I've only done excerpts from the article in the letter, but I think you will hear what she was trying to say as well as I did:

My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years.  Any separation from you will be painful so please remember that before you get me.  Please give me time to understand what you want of me because I want to please you, in fact is is crucial to my well being…Talk to me even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when it is speaking to me.  Be aware of how you treat me as I never forget…Take care of me when I get old; you too will grow old…When the journey becomes difficult for me and the end is near, never ever say that you cannot bear to watch or let it happen in my absence.  I have loved you all of my life and this final journey will be easier for me…your face is the last face I want to see before the end because I love you.

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